I recently discovered that I don’t put enough value on my self, so many people are this category with me and call it all sort of names one of the most popular name given to this is humility…well news flash it is not humility to sell yourself short. Why should he treat you the way it suits him regardless of how you feel or why should you allow her into your mind where she easily manipulates you. Work on your self worth, because you know you can be the most beautiful/ handsome person in the world and everybody sees you as great, but if you don’t know it for yourself all of that doesn’t matter. Every second that you spend doubting your worth, is a moment of your life thrown away. You have forever so don’t throw even one of your moments away. The great Malcolm X once said “We cannot think of being acceptable to others until we have first proven acceptable to ourselves.”

Self worth comes from within; you wont find it by having more money, having more friends, having a fancy car or a big house. it is something intrinsic and something we can’t gain extrinsically, meaning we won’t find self worth from external factors.

Your self worth is a function of how you value yourself. To build your self worth you must first discover your values and then make up your own definition of success. Your values are nothing more than what you value in life. You probably already know that society places excessive value on the outward appearances of success, such as money, material possessions, physical appearance, marital status, career and so on. In contrast, little consideration is ever given to the loftier values of a person, such as love, integrity, kindness, emotional intelligence, forgiveness and inner balance, when defining one’s success. This means that we have a warped definition of success based largely on outward appearances, which really results in a warped sense of self worth. Well lets take a look at a few tips I recently discovered to help improve our self worth:


Discover How You Value Yourself


You are likely to find that specific outward appearances automatically trigger a need within you to compare yourself to others, whether it is how much money someone else has or is making, how physically attractive they are, their relationship status or what material possessions they own and so on. Dig a little deeper and you will find that you have unconsciously placed an undue value on these outward appearances and are using them to determine your own self worth. In other words, how much money you have, how attractive you are and so on, have become the determining function of your self worth, and usually in isolation of all your other qualities and achievements. Such specific comparisons leave you temporarily feeling either better or worse about yourself, depending on where you ranked yourself on society’s scale of success.


Understand the power of your attitude toward yourself and views about yourself



How you perceive yourself, how you talk about yourself, and how you represent yourself eventually become the reality for you. And if it happens that you’re putting yourself down, belittling your worth, and making light of your talents in the face of others, then you will come across as self-destroying, low in self-esteem, and almost a part of the wallpaper. This isn’t humility, its self-denial and an attempt to lessen your presence. On the other hand, if you exaggerate your qualities, talents, and skills, you’ll come across as egotistical and arrogant but oddly enough; this is not about over-estimating your self-worth but about deceiving yourself through insecurity. There is a middle pathway and it is the one where you recognize and celebrate yourself. Celebrate the fact that you are a valuable person, equal to everyone else, and that your talents and thoughts are unique and worthy. Now, getting to this belief can be difficult if you have spent years underestimating your self worth but it is always possible to change your thoughts and to learn to value yourself. Like I said “hard” but not impossible

Learn to love yourself





Self-love is often equated with self-absorption, Vanity, and egotism. This is probably partly because the English language has a hard time dealing with the word “love” – it has to cover a lot of territory for the many different types of love out there. It is also caught up in the confusion people feel about the messaging to do good unto others, to always be charitable, and to give, give, give, of oneself. While these are noble intentions, they can often be taken out of proportion and used to downplay putting one’s own needs and wants beneath those of others out of a fear of being perceived as selfish or inward-looking. Again, this is about getting the balance right. Avoid superimposing how you think other people see you; how does it help you to surrender to their idea of you? Only you can give yourself the esteem boost needed. Learn to treat yourself with care, compassion, and lastly respect


Learn to self Analyze

Unfortunately we live in a time where we are very fond of going to see someone else to analyze us. Unless you’ve got a serious disorder, you do not need analysis by someone else. You need to analysis yourself so that you can clearly recognize where you’re underestimating yourself and short-changing yourself. Here are some questions for your self-analysis:

  • What experience have I had? How has this experience informed my growth?
  • What are my talents? List at least five.
  • What are my skills? Remember that talents are innate; skills need to be worked on to perfect them.
  • What are my strengths? Stop focusing on your weaknesses; you’ve probably done that long enough. Start looking at what your strengths are and start thinking about how you can make the most of them in the things you choose to do.
  • What do I want to be doing with my life? Am I doing it? If not, why not?
  • Am I happy with my health? If not, why not? And what can I do to move into wellness instead of living in sickness?
  • What makes me feel fulfilled? Am I working on that or am I busy working on other people’s fulfillment?

Don Not Base Your Self-worth on Other People




Once you try to live up to an image of what you think others want to you to be, you lose self-worth. Instead, you are following a scope set by other people’s expectations, whether or not those expectations are clearly defined or implied. Unfortunately, many people live this way, including making such choices as studies, career, where to live, and how many children to have, all based on expectations from parents, spouses, friends, and the media, and mostly because they are afraid of standing up for their own believes and preferences. You should instead be on the look out for people with healthy self-worth willing to share their insights and learning with you, people willing to guide you around life’s many traps. Look for those people to mentor you rather than being misguided by the unhappy people and allowing their negative words have a hold on you. Break the habit of trying to please everyone all of the time. That is impossible and even being a people pleaser will displease some people, particularly those with a high sense of self-worth who would cringe at your people pleasing behavior.

Learn to Value your time

Alongside undervaluing yourself because of the job you have or the earnings you make is that of how you spend your time. Stop neglecting parts of your life and consuming yourself with every other thing but your “You” time, things like spending pleasing family members, trying to please your boss or your colleagues. If you are stressed out, feeling undervalued, and you’re inadequately compensated, your balance of time has become skewed and has depleted your self-worth. Eventually this will lead to one of more of the following: being sick, being edgy and exploding. Evaluate the balance between the time you give away to others and how that time needs to spent on your own life. Could you be spending more time with your family and/or friends? If the answer to that is yes, then realize that your wealth resides in keeping that time for you and those you love, and reducing the amount of time you give away to others. It doesn’t mean that you have to give up helping out completely, but you do need to put community service or commitments to helping others into perspective.

Know That You Matter




Realistic self pep-talks are great and affirming your self-worth openly to yourself can be a very good way to start changing the internal negative junk that you might have developed over time. Take out time during the day to remind yourself that you’re a great person. Tell yourself you’re special, wonderful, lovable, and loved. Now, you need to note that affirmative talk is not the sole solution but it is part of a range of methods for boosting yourself and for taking out time to acknowledge that you do matter, as much as every person around you if not more


To wrap this up I would say if you must compete please compete with yourself and not with others plus learn how to live in the present I often say “Don’t live in the past unless you like to live in guilt and don’t live in the future unless you like to live in fear….Just focus on NOW!!!



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  1. I agree; true bliss and joy come from within first, and then everything that comes along just enhances that inner contentment:)Have a great holiday with your family and friends:))

  2. Pingback: Welcoming All Life Experiences | bobbieslife

  3. very helpfuly post! thank you for sharing it.

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