SINGLE, HAPPY AND SATISFIED

SINGLE, HAPPY AND SATISFIED

How can you be single and be satisfied?

      Breakups are hard on everyone — but after the initial pain and sorrow passes you will find that flying solo isn’t that bad. In fact it can be downright fun….shocked? I felt the same way until I started experiencing it myself, so am here to tell you that it is possible to be SINGLE, HAPPY AND SATISFIED!!!

But of course like anything else there are steps to take….I’ll start by stating you need to, First proactively decide that you want to be happy, you’re not going to be a happy married person if you are not a happy single person.

So, Whether you’ve just been dumped, or you’ve decided to end your current relationship, there are a few things you need to remember to make the most out of being single.  Even if it wasn’t your choice to be back in the world of single living, the only thing you can really do is embrace it.  So here are some things you need to memorize and put into action in your life to enjoy and embrace being single

 

TIPS TO BEING SINGLE, HAPPY AND SATISFIED

BE POSITIVE

There is nothing, absolutely nothing, worse than a single man or woman who is consumed with unhappiness.  Not everyone can be happy all of the time—it s impossible.  But when negativity takes over your life, there’s something wrong.

Stay positive about your single status.  It’s not going to last forever.  In fact, how long you stay single is mostly up to you.  If you’re wallowing in negative thoughts, you won’t have your eyes open when someone special comes around.

If you can’t seem to see the sunny side of life, no matter how hard you try, try a little harder.  If you still can’t embrace a little positivity, it might be time to talk to someone.

 

TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF

You have to take a little time to take care of yourself:  both physically and emotionally.  Remember to take care of your body.  Keep yourself in the best shape you can be in, buy yourself a new outfit or a pair of shoes, get a haircut, freshen yourself up— you’re single, take care of yourself and feel good.

On the emotional side of things, remember to exercise your mind and your emotions.  Read a book, something that makes you feel happy for me that would be a good movie…lol! You can also try keeping a journal to record how you feel on a day to day basis.  Try something new.

 

KEEP LIFE EXCITING

Don’t find yourself in a rut.  Keep the excitement flowing through your veins.  For some people, it’s as simple as walking home from work a different way.  For others, it’s going on an adventure:  rock-climbing (which I tried by the way and it’s totally awesome) you can go site seeing basically go for what excites you.

Singles, especially people who have recently joined the ranks of the single community, need to shake things up.  Try to get out there and experience new things in relation to the dating world:  That means you can go out on a couple of date nights with some friends. if you’ve never taken an arts and craft class, if you’ve never gone dancing…you get the point.  Get out there.  Make sure you have sparks in your life!

 

DON’T OBSESS

Life is about change.  Your life has recently changed, in a big way.  You are no longer someone’s other half (and maybe you never really were).  Things change; it’s life.  But don’t obsess about the change.

If you find yourself saying your ex-partner’s name every three words, or if you can see your friends begin to roll their eyes when you talk about what life was like before the break-up, then you’re probably obsessing.  If you keep comparing every one you meet to your old surpposed Mr. or Ms. Right, then you’re probably obsessing.

If you keep on obsessing, you won’t be ready when someone new comes along and you’ll probably drive your friends and family crazy in the process! Watch it!!!

 

HAVE FUN!

Being single is about having fun as much as it’s about complaining about being single and being insanely jealous of all the other couples you know.  Start up a singles night with your single friends where you do something exciting every week, even if it’s just switching to a new hang out spot.  Keep fun in your heart and you’ll enjoy your single days for how ever long they might happen to last!

 

LEARN HOW TO BE SINGLE

It can be tough to remember how to be single, especially if you’ve been coupled-up for a good long while.  Learning how to be single again can be tough, but if you follow a few simple rules to enjoying the single life, you’ll be smiling.  And then…eventually, you won’t be so single anymore.  But don’t be in a huge rush.  Being single can be tons of fun! take your time and enjoy it.

 

MYTHS OF BEING SINGLE

Myth -Singleness equals loneliness. 

This is simply not the case. The only single people who claim to be lonely are those who choose to be lonely.  One of the reasons why singleness seems so scary is because of the term itself:  Single.  It has almost become a swear word in today’s society.  It creates the image of a lone person, going through life with no friends and no family. Is this what you think of when you hear the word “single?”.  “Being single” only means the lack of a marriage or dating partner.  To call yourself lonely when all you lack is one person in your life is irrational.  A lonely single is actually a selfish single because their focus is on themselves instead of on others.

   

Myth -A relationship will help me feel better about myself.

A relationship is not an insurance policy for happiness, satisfaction, or fulfillment.  A relationship will not magically solve or cover up your problems.  Forget about all the perfect-couple images painted by the media.  Relationships actually magnify existing problems and create new ones.  Part of being in a relationship is learning how to solve problems.  If you can’t solve problems on your own, you won’t be able to do so with someone else.

If you don’t feel good about yourself, then you need to work on that before seeking a relationship, as people generally don’t look for someone with low self-esteem.  One of the key points that I state here several times is that you must be happy with yourself first.  The purpose of entering into a relationship is to share yourself with another person; not to try to get from someone else what you feel lacks in yourself.  Relationships (romantic and other) can’t be all “take” – you have to give as well.  Expecting someone else to fill your voids usually results in disappointment, a sense of failure, and resentment.  The way you feel about yourself is apparent to others, and if you seek a relationship hoping that the other person will somehow improve you, you will actually end up driving that person away.  You have to be happy with yourself before you can expect to get along with others.  If you believe that you cannot be happy on your own, you will be less confident and more dependent on others for your happiness.

If you feel trapped by singleness and are looking for someone to rescue you, then you need to first work on becoming content as a single person and gaining more confidence in yourself.  Become successful as a single first before worrying about success in relationships.  If you’re not content with being single, then you probably won’t be content with a relationship either.  Don’t make your happiness dependent on whether you are in a relationship or not.  Life is too short to spend a majority of it feeling depressed over something within your control.  You already have the key to unlock the singleness trap.  You just have to choose to use it. You just have to decide to be happy….Abraham Lincoln said, “Most people are about as happy as they make up their mind to be.”

 

Myth – If I’m single and can’t find anyone, it means something is wrong with me, or that I’m a failure. 

Being single can be very unsettling and can certainly make people ask themselves, “Is there something wrong with me?”  The answer is a big NO. Every one of us has something wrong with them.  Nobody on this planet is perfect.

Failing at something does not make you a failure.  Regardless of how many times you have attempted and failed, it does not mean anything is wrong with you.  It simply means that there are changes that need to be made.  However, you should try to look at what you have done and make an effort to change what you know isn’t working.  Use this time to take an inventory of yourself and see if there are any personal areas you think you could improve in.

Myth -Being single is unacceptable and I must be in a committed relationship as soon as possible. 

You might think that committed relationships and marriage are the ideal lifestyle, but it’s not the only lifestyle.  If you believe that being single is unacceptable, then you will end up seeking relationships just because you want one, because “it’s the thing to do”, or because “everyone’s doing it.”  a young lady once said to me when i asked her why would she want to get get married and she said boldly to me “Because society expects it of me….” Wow! Now, that answer caught me of guard but if like this young lady, you want to jump into marriage because of what someone else thinks? I would say you need to learn to be your own person and do your thinking for yourself plus this often leads to unhealthy relationships, unnecessary stress, a worsened self-image, and emotional burnout.  You are your own person.  Your decisions should not be based on what everyone else is doing.  Remember the saying  “If everyone was jumping off a cliff, would you…”?

Bottom line:  Being single is not unacceptable by any means.  What’s unacceptable is seeking a relationship for the sole purpose of having one.  It’s also selfish.

 

Myth – Singleness is meant to be a “waiting period” for finding the right person. 

This may be true for some, but it’s not an across-the-board fact.  If this is made the main focus of singleness, it actually becomes overwhelming.  You may have heard the term “waiting for the ship to come in.”  That creates the fallacy that one day, you will find that special person and then your life will suddenly become meaningful.  The idea of “waiting” can give you the false impression that something is missing.  This can have a serious negative impact on your life.  You may put off certain plans and aspects of your life until you happen to meet someone.  As time goes on, you’ll realize that you have been wasting your life away.  It may get to the point where your only goal in life is to find someone, and you’ll find yourself feeling unmotivated to take care of other things.  Don’t put your life on hold just because you are single.  You are the only one that decides how you will live your life.  You can make the most of it, or you can let it waste away; it’s your choice.  None of us knows what is going to happen in the future, and if you are presently single, this is a time of opportunity for you.  Your singleness is what you make of it.  It can be a good experience if you want it to be.  So, instead of wasting time just waiting around for the “right one”, use your time as a single to get to know the person that is responsible for making you happy – that’s you.

 

Myth – Accepting singleness is giving up or admitting defeat. 

Accepting singleness is not a defeat; it’s a victory.  Despite the way it sounds, accepting singleness does not mean resigning the rest of your life to an unhappy state of being single.  Accepting singleness means that you have conquered your fears and anxieties about being single.  It shows that you do not buy into the myths and stereotypes about being single.  It is not easy to accept singleness and many people think they can’t do it, or will even refuse to do it.  When you accept singleness, you are declaring that you are strong enough to do life on your own, and that you don’t need another person for a crutch.  It shows that you are independent.  Accepting singleness means you can resist the constant feeling of needing to be a part of a couple, regardless of the influences around you.  You are making the most of this time in your life instead of wasting time in unnecessary despair.  Lastly, and most importantly, it means that you are happy with who you are. Which is a very important aspect to discovering yourself.

Myth – There are no advantages to being single. 

Okay! I know this might be a tired old cliché but,  the saying “every cloud has a silver lining” applies here.  Remember that there are two sides to being single.  As I mentioned earlier, it’s easy to focus exclusively on the negative aspects of being single.  This can lead us to the false notion that there are no advantages to being single.  The fact of the matter is that there are advantages to being single…..these advantages may include more freedom to do what you want, when you want and with whomever you want….so why don’t you write down all the advantages you can think of to being single. And whenever you start to feel down you can refer to this list.

 

I will wrap it all up by saying: singles please don’t  put your life on hold, go out there and get a life…….and, please quit idolizing the institution of marriage……..marriage is the right thing when you meet the right person that you want to wake with everyday.

 

 Just have a blast…….

We can’t allow the waiting waste our time just like we cant allow the wrong man /woman to waste our time, so you have to live life to the fullest because Christ said “I have come that you might have life and have it more abundantly (John 10v10) And he didn’t say have it more abundantly after you get married did he? he said have it more abundantly period!

So singles, go on that cruise now!

Buy that piece of jewelry now!

Buy that car now!

Buy that house now!

Handle your finances now!

Don’t wait! Particularly to my sisters, don’t wait for a prince charming to come along and rescue you. He might come with more baggage and maybe a tired old horse and a rusty armor (looooool!!!)

And, if we’re honest with ourselves, it’s the external pressures that become more unbearable than the internal pressure…right?

So singles while you’re waiting have a blast…… And ensure you serve those that are available to be served and love those that are available to be loved.

Single people are very significant. And don’t let anyone tell you different. I hope you become what you want to attract.

 

“For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord, plans to. Prosper you and not to harm, plans to give you HOPE and a future.” Jeremiah 29v11

“STAY SINGLE, HAPPY AND SATISFIED!!!”

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