WHO IS THAT SPECIAL PERSON?   10 comments

you are special 1WHO IS THAT SPECIAL PERSON?

Sometimes, when I hear the sound of a car slowing down am tempted to peek and check is that for me could someone have thought of me and even driven down just to check on me? I get excited at the thought, but as always the car slowing down to a halt is not for me…..thinking about it now I feel pathetic but that’s really how I feel, having to put up a strong face can be tiring but I have gone from putting up a strong face to really being strong……it’s just that in moments of loneliness you wish you had that special someone……I thought I had found my special some one quite recently…..a part of me screamed “the search is over he is here”….there was peace a very relaxing calm peace that I just can’t explain but it was there and it was quite reassuring…..it’s the reason I held on….for so long….only to have that door slammed ruthlessly in my face…….wow!!! Life is a very long journey with a lot of displeasing and uncomfortable turns……then, when Isaac Samuel Adekunle was in my life the sound of the car coming to a halt by my window was for me….and his visits would make the evenings feel complete and perfect….we would talk and laugh and feel good sharing our challenges …..at least that’s what it felt like for me…….sigh!!! I enjoyed it ….In fact I secretly wished it would never end…..but, it was never meant to be; for the one who led me on like we were something really special ….had other plans he had someone else on the side …..Someone he planned to marry…..and did not tell me until the day of the marriage……it still baffles me though. where did he find the time for her-he spent everyday with me…..where and how did she come into the picture….or was she always there and I was so stupid and naive not to have noticed?

…..I still remember how hard it was to breath when my phone beeped and full of excitement on seeing his name across my screen of my mobile phone…. I open the text message and the message read…. You did not congratulate me……. Today is my TRAD…….(Trad is short for traditional marriage)….I never thought an involuntary action such as breathing could become such a big laborious task. I had to struggle to get the right amount of air into my lungs cause it felt like my system was shutting down and from the corner of my eyes darkness was creeping in……I steadied myself holding on to the counter in the kitchen saying it was a joke….”I just spoke to him two days ago we spoke for almost an hour, he said nothing about a trad…..it cant be what I think it is, he probably meant to say he was at a trad and it was a typo”……I tried calling, but he wouldn’t pick up and then my phone beeps again……another message ……”I can’t talk now”…….confusion pretty much set in at this point in my already muddled up mind……so I asked the dreaded question in the form of a text I said to him ….”Are you saying today is your traditional wedding?” To which he answered simply……”yes!” Then, he tries to make it light by saying he told me….which just threw me off the edge because right now another lie is not what I need ….then my brother sees traditional wedding photos on his blackberry phone……..that cleared all my doubts “so it true my supposed special person went on with someone else……I wasn’t special after all. I was just statistics to him”…..that hurt even more……I felt hurt, broken and betrayed on top of everything…..he wasn’t who he portrayed himself to be. I asked myself over and over was there ever a sign? Did I overlook something? Well, now that I have had time to think about it….yes I over looked a few important things……

 

1- First, never give people a clean slate when first you meet them, they all have a past and you cannot go on with them like they never did….their stories give you an inkling into the kind of person you are about to let into you life.

2- Don’t be in a rush to get too familiar, most of the time when we get too comfortable we get blind sided to a lot of warning signs….which reveal themselves with time.

3- Note  that, his action and his words are two different things….in a man’s world words are a strong indication of his true intentions……if he does not verbally define what you both have don’t assume it’s anything…..make sure you hear him say it….no matter how shy a man is……if his into you he will state it….although there are some of them who need a lil push…for e.g. The idea of a man about to loose a woman that he holds dear….would make him brace up and state his claim….if he doesn’t then he probably was never going to…. So why waste more time hanging around him.

4- When a guy starts hanging around you a lot without stating his intentions…..make it clear to him that you don’t spend that much time with people who are in the friend category…. And that your time is reserved for someone a lot more special. So it either he Admits he want to fill the position of the special man In Your life or he gets going.

5- A man who is into you does not need an excuse to see you; he would talk with you and come see you because he just can’t have a enough. No man is ever to busy for a woman he is crazy about….especially when you’re still at the wooing stage.

6- Realize your self worth! If so many women understood that they are nobody’s door mat and cannot and will not be treated as one ….there would be less broken hearts…..so many men have taken women for a ride because women do not have an idea of their self worth……..listen to the story of any happily married woman she would say something like “he treats me with respect”……”he treats me like a queen.” basically their husbands make them feel good with themselves……if your man makes you feel less than yourself and you let him, then honey you need to quickly do some self re-evaluation. KNOW YOUR WORTH!!!

7- And Lastly, but very important wait for God‘s instruction before you move him up from the friend category, because it’s is important that what you are about to start is God approved……I mean think of it why would you start a journey if you know that you are not going to get to your destination…….why would you give him your heart if he has no intentions of holding unto it for the rest of his life? Plus to hear God’s instruction in the first place you have to first be his friend…..don’t treat him like a D.O.G you would visit once in a while…..but like a G.O.D who longs for your companionship……..treat him the way you want that special person you’re waiting for to treat to you………my new phrase…..”If you’re about God’s work, God is going to be about YOU!

 you are special

Note from Writer

Hi guys, I decided to put this out there because a lot of ladies have confided in me about nasty break ups, and then they move to throw themselves a pity party, next stop “SHE BECOMES A MAN HATER!” sigh!!! Agreed, we have some down right nasty brothers out there, but ladies, you can’t completely put the blame on their door step. I saw a phrase a while back it said “A man’s lack of commitment is because there is a lack of necessity to commit from the woman.” ladies you need to realize that you should require a man to state where your relationship is heading, because if you are in a relationship where you don’t know the direction, you can loose yourself and get hurt. Another issue worth mentioning … Ladies when a man says you guys are just friends he means you are just friend and nothing more. Quit having a relationship with him in your head; you’ll only hurt yourself. If you treat yourself as a prized being he’ll treat you accordingly; don’t leave your heart or body carelessly. Guard your heart, your time, your information. Don’t in your minds eye go ahead and put someone in your future that is not committed to you, that is just recipe for more heart breaks. So ladies its time to wise up, realize your worth, take responsibility for your wellbeing; and lastly, you attract people to you when you look like you are having a good time. So go out there and live LIFE!!!

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10 responses to “WHO IS THAT SPECIAL PERSON?

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  1. What do I do when I really desire love but cn’t find it or the person….

    • you go on living your life to the fullest…..cos that’s the way to attract love your way…..no girl is going to want to be with a brother who just hangs around the corner moping

  2. What of if guy as not proposed marriage to you,and you have been in relationship for 4years,6month ago,I caught him going out with ladies but he beged never todo that again.is it a right man?

    • 4 years 6 months is a long time to be in a ship that has no direction my dear…. if you are satisfied with where you are now with your r/ship fine but honey if you want more out of it you better demand that he declares his full intention where you are concerned….you dont want to be the girl who was with him for so long but he ends up with a bride that is not you…..demand what you want from your r/ship…..its up to you

  3. In fact, this is what most women nowadays should learn from. Very interesting.

    Muniru Onifade
  4. This was exactly what I went thru sometime back and I learnt my lesson…only diff is that he had a gf. I hope most women will learn from this.

    Nice write up.

  5. Hmm…i wont say i luv it cos its very sad. I wont also say i dislike it cos ur 7 points serve as agenda to every seeker. Tnks!

  6. Reblogged this on Audrina1759's Blog and commented:
    A lot of Women need to read this

  7. Reblogged this on Uniqely Mustered and commented:
    To show you the feminine colour of myself, I share with the ladies who value their worth!

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