Ways You’re Making Your Life Harder Than It Has To Be
When we were young life was easier, right? I know sometimes it seems that way. But the truth is life still is easy. It always will be. The only difference is we’re older, and the older we get, the harder we make things for ourselves.
You see, when we were young we saw the world through simple, hopeful eyes. We knew what we wanted and we had no biases or concealed agendas. We liked people who smiled. We avoided people who frowned. We ate when we were hungry, drank when we were thirsty, and slept when we were tired.
As we grew older our minds became gradually disillusioned by negative external influences. At some point we began to hesitate and question our instincts. When a new obstacle or growing pain arose, we stumbled and fell down. This happened several times. Eventually we decided we didn’t want to fall again, but rather than solving the problem that caused us to fall, we avoided it all together.
As a result, we ate comfort food and drank alcohol to numb our wounds and fill our voids. We worked late nights on purpose to avoid unresolved conflicts at home. We started holding grudges, playing mind games, and subtly deceiving others and ourselves to get ahead. And when it didn’t work out, we lived above our means, used lies to cover up lies, and ate and drank some more just to make ourselves feel better again.
Over the course of time, we made our lives harder and harder, and we started losing touch with who we really are and what we really need.
If you’re nodding your head, then you understand the need for “Getting Back to Happy”, and you know deep down that you’ve gradually made your life harder than it has to be.
Here are some common mistakes you’ve likely made in the past.
You let other people steal from you.
If you had a million dollars in cash under your mattress, you would check it regularly and take precautions to insure it is safe. The one possession you have that is more important than money is time. But you don’t do anything to protect it. In fact you willingly give it to thieves. Selfish people, egotistical people, negative people, people who won’t shut up. Treat your time like a Fortress. Guard it closely and give it only to those who deserve and respect it.
You’re trying to compete with everyone else. – If you compete with everyone else, you will become bitter. If you compete with a previous version of yourself, you will become better. It’s as simple as that.
You focus on popularity over effectiveness. – Seek respect, not attention. It lasts longer and it’s far more useful in the end. Do things and build things that make a lasting difference. And above all, never confuse popularity with effectiveness. Being popular means you’re liked for a while. Being effective means you’ve made a difference.
You let others make you feel guilty for living your life. – As long as you’re not hurting anyone else, keep living your life YOUR way. Sometimes we get lost in trying to live for someone else, trying to meet their expectations, and doing things just to impress them. Take a moment and think about it. Are you doing things because you truly believe in them? Remember your own goals. Live, do and love so that you are happy, because when it comes down to it, relationships can end in an instant, but you will live with yourself for the rest of your life.
You keep cutting corners and taking the easy way out. – Do what is right, not what is easy. And do the right thing even if no one else will ever know. Why? Because YOU will know.
You focus on every point in time other than now. – You can’t change yesterday, but you can ruin today by worrying about tomorrow. Be present. Tomorrow will reveal itself exactly as it should, just as yesterday already has.
You are stuck on your mistakes. – It’s important that we forgive ourselves for making mistakes. We need to learn from our errors and move forward. Make a pact with yourself today to not be defined by your past. Sometimes the greatest thing to come out of all your hard work isn’t what you get for it, but what you learn from it. A happy, successful life, after all, is not a life absent of problems, but one that’s been able to rise above them.
You are part of the drama circle. – How would your life be different if you walked away from drama, gossip and verbal defamation? Let today be the day you speak only about the good you know of other people and encourage others to do the same. Those that refuse to support you CAN be ignored by you. It’s as simple as that. Incredible things happen when you distance yourself from negativity and those who create it. Don’t get caught up in drama. Just walk on by.
You allow toxic people to get the best of you. – You don’t ever have to feel guilty about removing toxic people from your life. It doesn’t matter whether someone is a relative, romantic interest, colleague, childhood friend or a new acquaintance. You don’t have to make room for people who cause you pain or make you feel small. It’s one thing if a person owns up to their behaviour and makes an effort to change. But if a person disregards your feelings, ignores your boundaries and continues to treat you in a harmful way, they need to go
You’re letting loss devour you. – Sometimes you have to work at happiness. Some hurdles in life are too difficult to clear simply by adopting a positive mindset. Do you need to forgive someone? Do you need to let go of a failed relationship? Do you need to come to terms with the death of a loved one? Life is full of loss. But, in a sense, true happiness would not be possible without it. It helps us appreciate the good times. It helps us grow. If you’re struggling to see the light, you’re not alone. Find someone who understands and talk to them. Reach out for support. Don’t let loss devour you.
You avoid facing the truth. – The truth does not cease to exist when it is ignored. You cannot find peace by avoiding things. You have to feel it to heal it. Bring your fears and weaknesses front and center and shine a blazing spotlight on them. Because the only way out is through. The pain of facing the truth is SO worth it in the long run, I swear.
You put off making decisions. – Bad decisions are almost always better than no decisions at all. Indecisiveness just delays, while bad decisions teach us to yield better ones. In the end, we most often regret the chances we didn’t take, the relationships we were afraid to have, and the decisions we waited too long to make.
You expect life to always be happy. – The world can be a difficult place. You may experience suffering, heartbreak and loss. These circumstances can take a toll on your happiness, but do not lose hope. Think about the Yin and Yang in Chinese philosophy, which states that opposite forces are often interconnected. In suffering, you can find great strength, in heartbreak you can find resilience, and in loss you can find a renewed appreciation for life. Life is always Yin and Yang. Opposites are interdependent and interconnected. You can’t completely shield yourself from sadness without also shielding yourself from happiness.
As you know, when we stop doing the wrong things and start doing the right things, life gets easier. It just makes sense. So how have you been making your life harder than it has to be? What can you do today to simplify things? #Food4Thought
I want to say thanks to Marc Chernoff you’ve been inspiring.