Archive for the ‘dying world’ Tag

Ways You’re Making Your Life Harder Than It Has To Be   Leave a comment

 

life being tough

Ways You’re Making Your Life Harder Than It Has To Be

When we were young life was easier, right?  I know sometimes it seems that way.  But the truth is life still is easy.  It always will be.  The only difference is we’re older, and the older we get, the harder we make things for ourselves.

You see, when we were young we saw the world through simple, hopeful eyes.  We knew what we wanted and we had no biases or concealed agendas.  We liked people who smiled.  We avoided people who frowned.  We ate when we were hungry, drank when we were thirsty, and slept when we were tired.
As we grew older our minds became gradually disillusioned by negative external influences.  At some point we began to hesitate and question our instincts.  When a new obstacle or growing pain arose, we stumbled and fell down.  This happened several times.  Eventually we decided we didn’t want to fall again, but rather than solving the problem that caused us to fall, we avoided it all together.

As a result, we ate comfort food and drank alcohol to numb our wounds and fill our voids.  We worked late nights on purpose to avoid unresolved conflicts at home.  We started holding grudges, playing mind games, and subtly deceiving others and ourselves to get ahead. And when it didn’t work out, we lived above our means, used lies to cover up lies, and ate and drank some more just to make ourselves feel better again.

Over the course of time, we made our lives harder and harder, and we started losing touch with who we really are and what we really need.

If you’re nodding your head, then you understand the need for “Getting Back to Happy”, and you know deep down that you’ve gradually made your life harder than it has to be.

Here are some common mistakes you’ve likely made in the past.

You let other people steal from you.

If you had a million dollars in cash under your mattress, you would check it regularly and take precautions to insure it is safe. The one possession you have that is more important than money is time. But you don’t do anything to protect it. In fact you willingly give it to thieves. Selfish people, egotistical people, negative people, people who won’t shut up. Treat your time like a Fortress. Guard it closely and give it only to those who deserve and respect it.

You’re trying to compete with everyone else. – If you compete with everyone else, you will become bitter.  If you compete with a previous version of yourself, you will become better.  It’s as simple as that.

You focus on popularity over effectiveness. – Seek respect, not attention.  It lasts longer and it’s far more useful in the end.  Do things and build things that make a lasting difference.  And above all, never confuse popularity with effectiveness.  Being popular means you’re liked for a while.  Being effective means you’ve made a difference.

You let others make you feel guilty for living your life. – As long as you’re not hurting anyone else, keep living your life YOUR way.  Sometimes we get lost in trying to live for someone else, trying to meet their expectations, and doing things just to impress them.  Take a moment and think about it.  Are you doing things because you truly believe in them?  Remember your own goals.  Live, do and love so that you are happy, because when it comes down to it, relationships can end in an instant, but you will live with yourself for the rest of your life.

You keep cutting corners and taking the easy way out. – Do what is right, not what is easy.  And do the right thing even if no one else will ever know.  Why?  Because YOU will know.

You focus on every point in time other than now. – You can’t change yesterday, but you can ruin today by worrying about tomorrow.  Be present.  Tomorrow will reveal itself exactly as it should, just as yesterday already has.

You are stuck on your mistakes. – It’s important that we forgive ourselves for making mistakes.  We need to learn from our errors and move forward.  Make a pact with yourself today to not be defined by your past.  Sometimes the greatest thing to come out of all your hard work isn’t what you get for it, but what you learn from it.  A happy, successful life, after all, is not a life absent of problems, but one that’s been able to rise above them.

You are part of the drama circle. – How would your life be different if you walked away from drama, gossip and verbal defamation?  Let today be the day you speak only about the good you know of other people and encourage others to do the same.  Those that refuse to support you CAN be ignored by you.  It’s as simple as that.  Incredible things happen when you distance yourself from negativity and those who create it.  Don’t get caught up in drama.  Just walk on by.

You allow toxic people to get the best of you. – You don’t ever have to feel guilty about removing toxic people from your life.  It doesn’t matter whether someone is a relative, romantic interest, colleague, childhood friend or a new acquaintance.  You don’t have to make room for people who cause you pain or make you feel small.  It’s one thing if a person owns up to their behaviour and makes an effort to change.  But if a person disregards your feelings, ignores your boundaries and continues to treat you in a harmful way, they need to go

You’re letting loss devour you. – Sometimes you have to work at happiness.  Some hurdles in life are too difficult to clear simply by adopting a positive mindset.  Do you need to forgive someone?  Do you need to let go of a failed relationship?  Do you need to come to terms with the death of a loved one?  Life is full of loss.  But, in a sense, true happiness would not be possible without it.  It helps us appreciate the good times.  It helps us grow.  If you’re struggling to see the light, you’re not alone.  Find someone who understands and talk to them.  Reach out for support.  Don’t let loss devour you.

You avoid facing the truth. – The truth does not cease to exist when it is ignored.  You cannot find peace by avoiding things.  You have to feel it to heal it.  Bring your fears and weaknesses front and center and shine a blazing spotlight on them.  Because the only way out is through.  The pain of facing the truth is SO worth it in the long run, I swear.

You put off making decisions. – Bad decisions are almost always better than no decisions at all.  Indecisiveness just delays, while bad decisions teach us to yield better ones.  In the end, we most often regret the chances we didn’t take, the relationships we were afraid to have, and the decisions we waited too long to make.

You expect life to always be happy. – The world can be a difficult place.  You may experience suffering, heartbreak and loss.  These circumstances can take a toll on your happiness, but do not lose hope.  Think about the Yin and Yang in Chinese philosophy, which states that opposite forces are often interconnected.  In suffering, you can find great strength, in heartbreak you can find resilience, and in loss you can find a renewed appreciation for life.  Life is always Yin and Yang.  Opposites are interdependent and interconnected.  You can’t completely shield yourself from sadness without also shielding yourself from happiness.

life easy

As you know, when we stop doing the wrong things and start doing the right things, life gets easier.  It just makes sense.  So how have you been making your life harder than it has to be?   What can you do today to simplify things? #Food4Thought

I want to say thanks to Marc Chernoff you’ve been inspiring.

Advertisements

BETRAYAL   1 comment

 

betrayal 5

BETRAYAL

“When you betray someone else, you also betray yourself!!!”

The word itself – betrayal would look dark to most people because of its meaning. No one likes to be betrayed. In fact every security measure we see in the world today is to guard against betrayal. That is betrayal by neighbors, the government, by parents, by colleagues, by friends and one of the most popularly talked about – betrayal by a lover or spouse. One way or the other everyone has experienced this phenomenon, in fact some of you probably might have lost a big business deal, a huge amount of money, some property or the love and respect of a someone you cherished – because you got betrayed by someone.

betrayal 3“To stay angry is to be a victim……you need to move on …….because that’s the real victory!!!”

Anyway, if I were to ask now “…Is betrayal a good thing or a bad thing?” – I wonder what your response would be? Well if I had to guess I think almost everyone would say “… Of course, betrayal is a bad thing.” – Well! You wouldn’t be wrong if you said that. But, this word we’ve tagged bad can also be GOOD! “…Okay!!!! Hold it!” – Before you crucify me let me explain.

 

So, how can betrayal be a good thing? You ask…. This is how I see it. If at a certain point in time you were not betrayal you probably wouldn’t have been able to push past your comfort zone to get to the higher heights that you need to get to. To a lot of people betrayal was a much needed push factor. Please don’t reject this school of thought until you’ve given yourself time to ponder seriously on it. Now, think back on what made you take that first courageous move…. It might have been you starting your business alone when initially you didn’t think yourself up to the task, or you working so hard on developing yourself. Think real hard on what the starting point to building your self confidence was. Is it possible that you would realize that after going through that experience of hurt and betrayal you got yourself up and made that bold move into the next phases in your life? Don’t rush take your time.

betrayal 1

Human beings are generally creatures of comfort and it would take a lot to push us out of our comfort zone. We all seek earnestly to move up to the next level in life but most of us are not ready to give up that comfort zone for anything just yet. Well, getting out of your comfort zone is a requirement in the journey to the next level and for that to happen most times an external force is required to push us. Just like Sir Isaac Newton’s first law of motion states every object will remain at rest unless compelled to change its state by the action of an external force. In this case, betrayal is that external force. But, please I would like to state that not everyone will have to experience betrayal as a push factor; but for those who do I’d liKe you to see it (Betrayal) as a step to the next new level in your life.

betrayal 4STAY STRONG!!!!

 

A PART OF “ME” MAKING A DIFFERENCE   3 comments


A PART OF “ME” MAKING A DIFFERENCE

I’ve thought long and hard and I ask myself what would I like to contribute to this world, in what way can I give a helping hand to a dying world….????

Answer……..By being “ME”….

….The part of “ME” that would love no questions asked, the part of “ME” that would give without expecting payback, The part of “ME” that would comfort a child that isn’t mine, The part of “ME” that would clothe, feed and shelter a person that can’t afford to pay me back, The part of “ME” that would see something wrong and fix it without being told, The part of “ME” that would respect the elderly no matter what.

….But, what have I done with that part of “ME”? I have suppressed and thrown away that part of “ME”, making room for the “ME” that would love for selfish reasons, The part of “ME” that would only give if the payback was with interest, The part of “ME” that would only comfort a child because its mine and I had no choice in the matter, The part of “ME” that would only clothe, feed and shelter a person cos I had vested interest in doing so; that part of “ME” that would go ahead to fix something, if I could be recognized and praised for it, That part of “ME” that would only respect my elders because of what I could get from them.

The part of “ME” the world sees and praises the part of “ME” the world considers strong…. …But, how dumb the world is what do they know? Because that part of “ME” not celebrated by the world which is called a fool and a weakling actually out lasts the part of “ME” which is selfish and conceited this part of “ME” celebrated by the world. But why can’t I become That part of “ME” that puts a smile below the crimson red eyes that’s been crying all night, or clothes on a tired back that’s been exposed to the cold for too long, or food in a stomach that’s been hungry for weeks, or joy in a heart that’s been aching…or cause hope to shine into a heart that’s been broken simply by loving it?

….. This part of “ME” though not celebrated by the world because they are too short sighted….definitely lasts forever, because stories will be told of that part of “ME”, that caused hope to shine in a hopeless world, that part of “ME” that held on to the last thread of love in a loveless world, That part of “ME” that caused a broken heart to believe again and hold on for one more chance…for a brand new beginning; Yes!!! Stories will be told of that part of “ME” the world thinks is in fairy tales or a myth; that part of “ME” that MAKES A DIFFERENCE!!!! This part of “ME” lives on but barely and why is it so? Here is your answer… …Its, because, we wait for the approval of a blind world system that knows no better. It’s time to look somewhere else for approval, a place that offers solution and not confusion….. “I look to the hills from where comes my help; my help comes from the Lord.”

 

“Never be afraid to do something new. Remember, amateurs built the ark; professionals built the titanic.”

 

I choose that part of “ME” that makes a difference…..do you???

By Faith Onyebujoh

Posted January 14, 2012 by Faith Onyebujoh in Uncategorized

Tagged with