Archive for the ‘God’ Tag

Signs Fear is Slowly Breaking You Down   2 comments

fearSigns Fear is Slowly Breaking You Down

So many of us these days are riddled with fear.  It’s running the show in our lives, and taking the wheel in most of our decision-making.  But the funny thing is, most people don’t even know it.  This is partly because, in our culture, we tend to dress up “fear” in the more socially acceptable clothes of “stress.”  And stress … well, goodness… stress is practically a badge of success in our culture of busyness.

We’ve been taught to think that fear is for losers.  We see it as a weakness – something we should hide from others and deal with it alone behind closed doors.  But fear shouldn’t remain hidden or elicit shame.  Now more than ever, our fears need to shamelessly take center stage so we can let fear illuminate everything that is in need of healing in our lives, so we can finally be free.

But fear is tricky, and it shows up in all kinds of disguises.  And until you see it for what it is, it’s impossible to interact properly with fear.

How can you tell if fear is stifling your life and slowly breaking you down? Here are a few thoughts.

1. You find yourself striving in vain for an impossible-to-achieve standard of perfection.

progress not perfectionWhen you’re afraid (of criticism, failure and rejection), you’ll kill yourself trying to be perfect.  Of course, the mask of perfection also separates you from what you most want: real intimacy, to be known, loved, and accepted for your true self.

2. You settle.

When you’re afraid to take risks and go for what you really want, you convince yourself that your less-than-juicy life – your relationships, your job, the dismal state of your thinking – is as good as it gets.  When fear runs the show, you forget how to dream and stretch your comfort zone.  You compromise in the name of being “realistic.”  But settling isn’t realism; it’s a devastating symptom of the fear that what you hope is possible really isn’t.

3. You say yes when you mean no.

When you’re afraid to disappoint people or get rejected if you don’t say yes, you’ll fall into fear-based, people-pleasing, self-sacrificing behaviors that lead to unhappiness and resentment.  But when fear is no longer weighing you down, you say no when it feels self-loving.  As they say, “No” is a complete sentence.  There doesn’t need to be an explanation everyone agrees with.  This doesn’t mean you won’t devote yourself to generosity and service.  It means the service stems from a genuine love-based, rather than a fear-based, motivation.

4. You say no when you mean yes.

When you’re afraid, you’re unlikely to take any risks at all.  You’ll feel the longing to start your own business, go out with your dream date, take that bucket list trip, start a family, or take an educational class.  But you’ll say no because you’re afraid to fail, afraid to succeed, afraid to get rejected, afraid to stir things up, afraid to get out of your comfort zone.

When you face fear rather than running from it, you’ll start letting your soul take the lead, taking leaps of faith and saying yes when you really want to.

5. You numb yourself with alcohol, drugs, TV, sex or unnecessary busyness.

Fear causes inner pain, a soul sickness that can show up as depression, anxiety, helplessness, hopelessness, frustration, sadness, loneliness and exhaustion.  In order to avoid this inner pain, you engage in addictions and other numbing behaviors.  This only puts a temporary Band-Aid on the pain, while increasing feelings of low self-esteem that just escalate the inner agony.

When you’re not afraid to be quiet with yourself, to face your inner demons, to heal from the core, you’ll no longer need excessive amounts of alcohol, cigarettes, junk food, painkillers, or other numbing distractions.  You’ll have the courage to do the transformative work that leads you to freedom and life-saving solutions.

free yourself

6.  You get sick (often).

Fear isn’t just an uncomfortable emotion that holds you back from following your dreams.  It also triggers physical stress responses in your body that put you at risk of disease and make it hard for you to physically heal yourself.  Fearful people are more likely to have heart attacks, cancer, diabetes, autoimmune disorders, inflammatory illnesses, chronic pain and even the common cold.  They’re also more likely to experience milder physical ailments, such as insomnia, obesity, low energy, headaches, body aches, and decreased libido.

#FearNot!

This isn’t meant to frighten you.  It’s meant to wake you up, give you hope, and inspire you to embark upon the journey of transformation from fear to freedom.

fear end

#FoodForThought

 

THE POWER OF “THANK YOU!”   6 comments

THE POWER OF “THANK YOU!”

thank u 1God gave you a gift of 86,400 seconds today. Have you used one to say ‘thank you?

William Arthur Ward

 

I’ve got a CRAZY question for you…

How often do you say “thank you?”

I’m not talking about the robotic “thank you” you give at a fast food joint on picking your burger.

Or the “thanks” you say when people hold the door open for you.

I’m talking about the sincere, time-consuming “thank you.”

Think about it… How often do you say it? My guess is you do, but wish you could do it more, right?

 

thank u 4

 

The simple act of saying ‘thank you’ is a demonstration of gratitude in response to an experience that was meaningful to a customer or citizen.

Simon Mainwaring

 

“Thank You! ….. Are they just words or do they have the power to make people take action?”

 

They are two words that have the power to transform our health, happiness, athletic performance and success. Research shows that grateful people are happier and more likely to maintain good friendships. A state of gratitude, according to research by the Institute of HeartMath, also improves the heart’s rhythmic functioning, which helps us to reduce stress, think more clearly under pressure and heal physically. It’s actually physiologically impossible to be stressed and thankful at the same time. When you are grateful you flood your body and brain with emotions and endorphins that uplift and energize you rather than the stress hormones that drain you.

Saying thank you in life and business is powerful, thoughtful, memorable, inexpensive, and easy. Plus, the opportunities to give thanks are endless.

Gratitude is like muscle. The more we do with it the stronger it gets.

thank u 2

 

‘Thank you’ is the best prayer that anyone could say. I say that one a lot. Thank you expresses extreme gratitude, humility, understanding.

Alice Walker

Here are some tips you can use to develop the profitable habit of saying “Thank you”:

  • Be specific in your thanks. It’s one thing to say, “I appreciate what you did today. Thanks a lot.” That’s a soap-bubble comment. Pretty while it lasts, but gone in seconds. It’s general and vague. When you thank them for something specific, that’s Velcro. That’s a thanks they remember because it sticks. You hook your gratitude to something the employee did. For instance, an employee just handled a difficult phone call with a customer really well. Thank them for that specific activity.
  • Appreciate the process. Target your appreciation on what the employee or vendor did. Let’s go back to the worker who took the phone call. Avoid telling the employee, “Thanks for helping me keep that customer.” That’s just an outcome that benefits you. Say, “I like how you hung in there when that customer was being difficult. You were really patient and respectful.” The same type of strategy goes for vendors. Give thanks for doing something that was an extra-mile effort for them, recognizing the above-and-beyond work.

    It’s about them, not you. Showing that you know something about them, and that you’re able to place yourself in their shoes, is incredibly valuable. Connect your gift-giving with life beyond the business walls. If a vendor became a grandpa, give him a copy of “Goodnight, Moon” to read to the little one. If an employee’s mother died of breast cancer this year, make an end-of -the-year donation to Race for the Cure in her name. Such intimacy breaks the relationship ice in a transformational, not just transactional, direction which is the game-changing pathway to greater profits.

  • Go old school with your thanks. In this digital world of emails and texts, Facebook and Twitter, the simple and quick act of writing a handwritten expression of gratitude can go a long way. There’s something special today about a handwritten note. It tells them you took out time to specifically appreciate them. Plus you create return business when you take pen in hand and write, “Thank you,” to your customers. Just say, “I know you could do business with others, but you chose us. Thank you! We treasure our relationship.”

Implement these tips, and your business will likely say “Thank you” back to you as you increase your profits year-round.

 

 

“The Gratitude Effect …… makes it possible that down the line you and others will get help.”

thank u 3 

Now, let’s look at some ways to practice being Thankful every day.

  1. Take a Daily Thank You Walk –Take a simple 5 or 10-minute walk each day and say out loud what you are thankful for. This will set you up for a positive day.
  2. Meal Time Thank You’s – (For those of us that still have family meal time.) At meal-time with your friends and family, go around the table and have each person, including the kids at the little table, say what they are thankful for.
  3. Gratitude Visit – Martin Seligman, Ph.D., an American psychologist, suggests that we write a letter expressing our gratitude to someone. Then we visit this person and read them the letter. His research shows that people who do this are measurably happier and less depressed a month later.
  4. Say Thank You at Work – we spend more hours with our colleagues t work than family…. so it won’t hurt to energize and engage your co-workers and team by letting them know you are grateful for them and their work. Oh! Another thing do not forget to say thank you to your clients and customers too….. It does wonders …… don’t take my word for it try it out.

So, leave a comment and let me know what you think about saying “thanks!”

PLUS, I’ve got a challenge for you.

A challenge that will make you a better person…

…and it’s a challenge that will help you run a better business.

What is it?

It’s simple:

Today I want you to take the time to say thank you to people who have helped you.

And MAKE IT COUNT.

Giving thanks is fun and puts a smile on everyone’s face. Give it a try.

Thank u 5

“Let gratitude be the pillow upon which you kneel to say your nightly prayer. And let faith be the bridge you build to overcome evil and welcome good.”

Maya Angelou,

WHO IS THAT SPECIAL PERSON?   10 comments

you are special 1WHO IS THAT SPECIAL PERSON?

Sometimes, when I hear the sound of a car slowing down am tempted to peek and check is that for me could someone have thought of me and even driven down just to check on me? I get excited at the thought, but as always the car slowing down to a halt is not for me…..thinking about it now I feel pathetic but that’s really how I feel, having to put up a strong face can be tiring but I have gone from putting up a strong face to really being strong……it’s just that in moments of loneliness you wish you had that special someone……I thought I had found my special some one quite recently…..a part of me screamed “the search is over he is here”….there was peace a very relaxing calm peace that I just can’t explain but it was there and it was quite reassuring…..it’s the reason I held on….for so long….only to have that door slammed ruthlessly in my face…….wow!!! Life is a very long journey with a lot of displeasing and uncomfortable turns……then, when Isaac Samuel Adekunle was in my life the sound of the car coming to a halt by my window was for me….and his visits would make the evenings feel complete and perfect….we would talk and laugh and feel good sharing our challenges …..at least that’s what it felt like for me…….sigh!!! I enjoyed it ….In fact I secretly wished it would never end…..but, it was never meant to be; for the one who led me on like we were something really special ….had other plans he had someone else on the side …..Someone he planned to marry…..and did not tell me until the day of the marriage……it still baffles me though. where did he find the time for her-he spent everyday with me…..where and how did she come into the picture….or was she always there and I was so stupid and naive not to have noticed?

…..I still remember how hard it was to breath when my phone beeped and full of excitement on seeing his name across my screen of my mobile phone…. I open the text message and the message read…. You did not congratulate me……. Today is my TRAD…….(Trad is short for traditional marriage)….I never thought an involuntary action such as breathing could become such a big laborious task. I had to struggle to get the right amount of air into my lungs cause it felt like my system was shutting down and from the corner of my eyes darkness was creeping in……I steadied myself holding on to the counter in the kitchen saying it was a joke….”I just spoke to him two days ago we spoke for almost an hour, he said nothing about a trad…..it cant be what I think it is, he probably meant to say he was at a trad and it was a typo”……I tried calling, but he wouldn’t pick up and then my phone beeps again……another message ……”I can’t talk now”…….confusion pretty much set in at this point in my already muddled up mind……so I asked the dreaded question in the form of a text I said to him ….”Are you saying today is your traditional wedding?” To which he answered simply……”yes!” Then, he tries to make it light by saying he told me….which just threw me off the edge because right now another lie is not what I need ….then my brother sees traditional wedding photos on his blackberry phone……..that cleared all my doubts “so it true my supposed special person went on with someone else……I wasn’t special after all. I was just statistics to him”…..that hurt even more……I felt hurt, broken and betrayed on top of everything…..he wasn’t who he portrayed himself to be. I asked myself over and over was there ever a sign? Did I overlook something? Well, now that I have had time to think about it….yes I over looked a few important things……

 

1- First, never give people a clean slate when first you meet them, they all have a past and you cannot go on with them like they never did….their stories give you an inkling into the kind of person you are about to let into you life.

2- Don’t be in a rush to get too familiar, most of the time when we get too comfortable we get blind sided to a lot of warning signs….which reveal themselves with time.

3- Note  that, his action and his words are two different things….in a man’s world words are a strong indication of his true intentions……if he does not verbally define what you both have don’t assume it’s anything…..make sure you hear him say it….no matter how shy a man is……if his into you he will state it….although there are some of them who need a lil push…for e.g. The idea of a man about to loose a woman that he holds dear….would make him brace up and state his claim….if he doesn’t then he probably was never going to…. So why waste more time hanging around him.

4- When a guy starts hanging around you a lot without stating his intentions…..make it clear to him that you don’t spend that much time with people who are in the friend category…. And that your time is reserved for someone a lot more special. So it either he Admits he want to fill the position of the special man In Your life or he gets going.

5- A man who is into you does not need an excuse to see you; he would talk with you and come see you because he just can’t have a enough. No man is ever to busy for a woman he is crazy about….especially when you’re still at the wooing stage.

6- Realize your self worth! If so many women understood that they are nobody’s door mat and cannot and will not be treated as one ….there would be less broken hearts…..so many men have taken women for a ride because women do not have an idea of their self worth……..listen to the story of any happily married woman she would say something like “he treats me with respect”……”he treats me like a queen.” basically their husbands make them feel good with themselves……if your man makes you feel less than yourself and you let him, then honey you need to quickly do some self re-evaluation. KNOW YOUR WORTH!!!

7- And Lastly, but very important wait for God‘s instruction before you move him up from the friend category, because it’s is important that what you are about to start is God approved……I mean think of it why would you start a journey if you know that you are not going to get to your destination…….why would you give him your heart if he has no intentions of holding unto it for the rest of his life? Plus to hear God’s instruction in the first place you have to first be his friend…..don’t treat him like a D.O.G you would visit once in a while…..but like a G.O.D who longs for your companionship……..treat him the way you want that special person you’re waiting for to treat to you………my new phrase…..”If you’re about God’s work, God is going to be about YOU!

 you are special

Note from Writer

Hi guys, I decided to put this out there because a lot of ladies have confided in me about nasty break ups, and then they move to throw themselves a pity party, next stop “SHE BECOMES A MAN HATER!” sigh!!! Agreed, we have some down right nasty brothers out there, but ladies, you can’t completely put the blame on their door step. I saw a phrase a while back it said “A man’s lack of commitment is because there is a lack of necessity to commit from the woman.” ladies you need to realize that you should require a man to state where your relationship is heading, because if you are in a relationship where you don’t know the direction, you can loose yourself and get hurt. Another issue worth mentioning … Ladies when a man says you guys are just friends he means you are just friend and nothing more. Quit having a relationship with him in your head; you’ll only hurt yourself. If you treat yourself as a prized being he’ll treat you accordingly; don’t leave your heart or body carelessly. Guard your heart, your time, your information. Don’t in your minds eye go ahead and put someone in your future that is not committed to you, that is just recipe for more heart breaks. So ladies its time to wise up, realize your worth, take responsibility for your wellbeing; and lastly, you attract people to you when you look like you are having a good time. So go out there and live LIFE!!!