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Ways You’re Making Your Life Harder Than It Has To Be   Leave a comment

 

life being tough

Ways You’re Making Your Life Harder Than It Has To Be

When we were young life was easier, right?  I know sometimes it seems that way.  But the truth is life still is easy.  It always will be.  The only difference is we’re older, and the older we get, the harder we make things for ourselves.

You see, when we were young we saw the world through simple, hopeful eyes.  We knew what we wanted and we had no biases or concealed agendas.  We liked people who smiled.  We avoided people who frowned.  We ate when we were hungry, drank when we were thirsty, and slept when we were tired.
As we grew older our minds became gradually disillusioned by negative external influences.  At some point we began to hesitate and question our instincts.  When a new obstacle or growing pain arose, we stumbled and fell down.  This happened several times.  Eventually we decided we didn’t want to fall again, but rather than solving the problem that caused us to fall, we avoided it all together.

As a result, we ate comfort food and drank alcohol to numb our wounds and fill our voids.  We worked late nights on purpose to avoid unresolved conflicts at home.  We started holding grudges, playing mind games, and subtly deceiving others and ourselves to get ahead. And when it didn’t work out, we lived above our means, used lies to cover up lies, and ate and drank some more just to make ourselves feel better again.

Over the course of time, we made our lives harder and harder, and we started losing touch with who we really are and what we really need.

If you’re nodding your head, then you understand the need for “Getting Back to Happy”, and you know deep down that you’ve gradually made your life harder than it has to be.

Here are some common mistakes you’ve likely made in the past.

You let other people steal from you.

If you had a million dollars in cash under your mattress, you would check it regularly and take precautions to insure it is safe. The one possession you have that is more important than money is time. But you don’t do anything to protect it. In fact you willingly give it to thieves. Selfish people, egotistical people, negative people, people who won’t shut up. Treat your time like a Fortress. Guard it closely and give it only to those who deserve and respect it.

You’re trying to compete with everyone else. – If you compete with everyone else, you will become bitter.  If you compete with a previous version of yourself, you will become better.  It’s as simple as that.

You focus on popularity over effectiveness. – Seek respect, not attention.  It lasts longer and it’s far more useful in the end.  Do things and build things that make a lasting difference.  And above all, never confuse popularity with effectiveness.  Being popular means you’re liked for a while.  Being effective means you’ve made a difference.

You let others make you feel guilty for living your life. – As long as you’re not hurting anyone else, keep living your life YOUR way.  Sometimes we get lost in trying to live for someone else, trying to meet their expectations, and doing things just to impress them.  Take a moment and think about it.  Are you doing things because you truly believe in them?  Remember your own goals.  Live, do and love so that you are happy, because when it comes down to it, relationships can end in an instant, but you will live with yourself for the rest of your life.

You keep cutting corners and taking the easy way out. – Do what is right, not what is easy.  And do the right thing even if no one else will ever know.  Why?  Because YOU will know.

You focus on every point in time other than now. – You can’t change yesterday, but you can ruin today by worrying about tomorrow.  Be present.  Tomorrow will reveal itself exactly as it should, just as yesterday already has.

You are stuck on your mistakes. – It’s important that we forgive ourselves for making mistakes.  We need to learn from our errors and move forward.  Make a pact with yourself today to not be defined by your past.  Sometimes the greatest thing to come out of all your hard work isn’t what you get for it, but what you learn from it.  A happy, successful life, after all, is not a life absent of problems, but one that’s been able to rise above them.

You are part of the drama circle. – How would your life be different if you walked away from drama, gossip and verbal defamation?  Let today be the day you speak only about the good you know of other people and encourage others to do the same.  Those that refuse to support you CAN be ignored by you.  It’s as simple as that.  Incredible things happen when you distance yourself from negativity and those who create it.  Don’t get caught up in drama.  Just walk on by.

You allow toxic people to get the best of you. – You don’t ever have to feel guilty about removing toxic people from your life.  It doesn’t matter whether someone is a relative, romantic interest, colleague, childhood friend or a new acquaintance.  You don’t have to make room for people who cause you pain or make you feel small.  It’s one thing if a person owns up to their behaviour and makes an effort to change.  But if a person disregards your feelings, ignores your boundaries and continues to treat you in a harmful way, they need to go

You’re letting loss devour you. – Sometimes you have to work at happiness.  Some hurdles in life are too difficult to clear simply by adopting a positive mindset.  Do you need to forgive someone?  Do you need to let go of a failed relationship?  Do you need to come to terms with the death of a loved one?  Life is full of loss.  But, in a sense, true happiness would not be possible without it.  It helps us appreciate the good times.  It helps us grow.  If you’re struggling to see the light, you’re not alone.  Find someone who understands and talk to them.  Reach out for support.  Don’t let loss devour you.

You avoid facing the truth. – The truth does not cease to exist when it is ignored.  You cannot find peace by avoiding things.  You have to feel it to heal it.  Bring your fears and weaknesses front and center and shine a blazing spotlight on them.  Because the only way out is through.  The pain of facing the truth is SO worth it in the long run, I swear.

You put off making decisions. – Bad decisions are almost always better than no decisions at all.  Indecisiveness just delays, while bad decisions teach us to yield better ones.  In the end, we most often regret the chances we didn’t take, the relationships we were afraid to have, and the decisions we waited too long to make.

You expect life to always be happy. – The world can be a difficult place.  You may experience suffering, heartbreak and loss.  These circumstances can take a toll on your happiness, but do not lose hope.  Think about the Yin and Yang in Chinese philosophy, which states that opposite forces are often interconnected.  In suffering, you can find great strength, in heartbreak you can find resilience, and in loss you can find a renewed appreciation for life.  Life is always Yin and Yang.  Opposites are interdependent and interconnected.  You can’t completely shield yourself from sadness without also shielding yourself from happiness.

life easy

As you know, when we stop doing the wrong things and start doing the right things, life gets easier.  It just makes sense.  So how have you been making your life harder than it has to be?   What can you do today to simplify things? #Food4Thought

I want to say thanks to Marc Chernoff you’ve been inspiring.

CREATING “FUN” IN YOUR LIFE   10 comments

CREATING “FUN” IN YOUR LIFE

“People rarely succeed unless they have fun in what they are doing.”
Dale Carnegie


As adults, our lives are complicated and often very serious. We are involved in the serious business of grown-up stuff. We work hard. We support our families. We worry about money and higher prices. We fret about the condition of the world, politics, and our children. We have endless chores and tasks without much time for fun.

Watching people go about their lives these days you see more furrowed brows than laugh lines on a lot of faces. Everyone is all about getting a better life which in itself is not a bad thing but at what expense. It seems like the word fun has suddenly become an alien phenomenon to people.

I saw a quote recently, by G B Shaw it said we don’t stop playing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop playing. Have you ever noticed how happy people look years younger than their actual age? It’s good we remember how to smile, how to be happy… …how to have fun.

Sadly, some people see time for fun as a time they cannot spare; “a waste of time” some would say “when they could be out there making some more money.” Well I say that’s just a sad life and if you are at that point then you’ve stopped living and are just existing; and you need to know that just inanimate objects exist…

Another, factor that hinders people from having good fun is “MONEY.” People believe to have good fun you must spend a lot of money. To that I say a capital N.O… No!!!  It’s a mindset that should be debunked and quickly too. Society has made us think that way. So maybe now you’re asking the question “so, smarty pants (that’s me by the way!J) how do you have good fun without spending some good amount of money?” I’ll ask you just one question when you were younger how much money did you need to spend to have fun? One way or the other your mind was able to find fun all around you. Don’t get me wrong am not saying the kind of fun where you spend money is not great; of course it is! But, you don’t have to wait till you have extra cash to spare before you create more fun in your life.

“Don’t ever become a pessimist… a pessimist is correct oftener than an optimist, but an optimist has more fun, and neither can stop the march of events.” 
Robert A. Heinlein

 

Here is a simple guide to creating more fun in your life:

1.  Take yourself and your life less seriously. Lighten up about the serious business of being an adult. Serious business will always be there whether or not you choose to focus on it all the time. Stress is a killer – taking life too seriously is extremely stressful.  All the expectation and pressure feels like wearing a heavy backpack.  Stress drains our energy, dampens our enthusiasm and makes us sick.  Lightening up takes the stress away and helps us live life.  If you take things too seriously this can be very stressful, if you play along and laugh about it life becomes delightful.  So lighten up and enjoy the joke, rather than being the joke.

2.  Embrace the truth that fun is good. You don’t need to feel guilty or embarrassed about having fun. Being an adult doesn’t mean you’ve lost the child-like quality of wonder and joy and wild abandonment.

3.  Don’t be self-conscious. It’s OK to look goofy and unabashedly happy sometimes. Let your hair fly in the wind.

4.  Remember what was fun as a child. Young, Wild and Free as a child with little inhibitions right? Here are some fun things you might choose to try:

  • flying a kite
  • boat rides
  • dancing
  • throwing a ball
  • wading in a stream
  • reading in a hammock (using your bed sheets to make a tent indoors)
  • having a picnic
  • playing cards
  • jumping on a trampoline
  • riding with the windows down with the winds in your hair.
“Young and free…”

4.  Nourish your friendships so that you have partners in fun. Some of the most fun occasions in in life are with really close friends. Become the fun instigator of your circle. I’ve recently thought about having a pajama party I’ve never had one (might send the invites out pwetty soon..LOL!!! ) Remember that People matter – there is great power in exploring our inner-self, yet even monks live in monasteries.  People bring energy, creativity, joy and learning to life.  Surround yourself with great people and revel in it.

5.  Build time for fun with your spouse or partner. Think back on the times when you were first together and the fun you created naturally. Rekindle those moments. Be playful. Make him/her laugh with silliness or private jokes. Take fun into the bedroom.

6.  Share fun with your children. It’s easy to go off into your separate corners of the house to do chores, homework, computer surfing. Connect with your children through fun. They are the masters of it; (infact they hold the masters degree in FUN) so let them take the lead with a game: maybe a family game, a hobby, or a trip to an amusement park.

“This lil adorable girl finds fun in a simple make up session…kids! They find fun in everything… LOL!!!”

Before we go on its very important I say this: people need to learn to – Let go – there are some things in life that are fundamental and worth fighting for.  There are many more things that are trivial and we should let go.  Letting go of some of this weight brings more joy to life.

7.  Be creative and spontaneous. All fun activities don’t have to be planned or traditional. Come up with something unexpected or surprising. Maybe you could go back to playing police and thiefJ!!! I remember recently when my friends and I started playing the Ten! Ten!! Game its was fun just trying to remember all the rules… …but I think the most fun part was when the guys joined in now that was hilarious…

8. Make it non-competitive. There are many sports and games that are loads of fun until it starts getting competitive. Then lighthearted fun can quickly morph into an ego-based urge to win. That’s a different kind of fun that stir up a different part of the psyche.

 9. Be child-like, but remember your limits. There are certain things kids can do with ease of course they are still young but its important that no matter how childlike you want to be remember your limit someone shared a story where her kids went to body surf in the ocean a few years ago, while they were in the states. They were having so much fun, and she wanted to join in. But with the first big wave, she was slammed to the ocean floor, she wasn’t seriously hurt thank goodness but she had a big bruise a remainder of that vacation… know your limit.

10. Plan fun into your life. It’s easy to forget about fun. It’s been so long since it lived with us every day as a regular companion. Fun may not come knocking at your door, so you may have to invite it in. Learn to plan fun activities with your family and friends. Look for opportunities to experience fun. Find ways to make the tedious tasks of life more interesting and fun to enliven your spirit and brighten your day.

I’m convinced that we are programmed from birth to have fun and enjoy this beautiful Earth we call home. It’s only as we age that real fun is abandoned for the pursuit of other things that choke our life up. As proof that we are programmed for fun from birth, just watch toddlers having fun before they learn to tone it down. I’ll end this by saying: Life is an adventure to be enJOYed.sadly a lot of us are short sighted!!! Anyone who keeps the ability to see beauty, to be optimistic.. ..the ability to have fun never grows old.

That’s me just letting go!!! Have fun pipz!!!

“We are driven by five genetic needs: survival, love and belonging, power, freedom, and fun.”
William Glasser