Archive for the ‘quotes’ Tag




me time

” Talk to yourself once in a day…. otherwise you may miss meeting n excellent person in the world.”

Swani Vivekananda

Why are people so incredibly against being alone? We all seem to be afraid of it. We make friends who usually aren’t worth having. We date people we shouldn’t be dating. We spend our time and money running away from being on our own.

Loneliness is not something to aim for, but being alone doesn’t necessarily mean being lonely. In fact, spending more time with ourselves, without being surrounded by people, and without virtually surrounding ourselves via all those social networking platforms, we can find solace in the company that matters most: the relationship we have with ourselves.

Here are some benefits of spending time alone:

1. Introduces You To A Simple Life

A simple life is a beautiful life. In this day and age, we often find ourselves overwhelmed with things we want to do, ought to do, need to do and are avoiding doing. We all have so much going on in our lives, but to what end? It’s as if we are all running some sort of race, a race with no real finish other than death. People are aiming for a happy life somewhere down the line when the point of life is being happy throughout the ride. #Food4Thought

2. Allows You To Keep Your Mind Clear

I’m sure I’m not the only person who finds myself mentally overwhelmed. Our minds are capable of storing massive amounts of information. However, you can’t simply collect information. You need to organize it. Our minds have a filing system that, in part, works on its own, but it requires slowing down and removing yourself from the constant flow of new information. You can’t process and file simultaneously. We don’t come equipped with dual processors…. In fact, looking at perception…. we are constantly interacting with others and constantly processing new information, it makes getting a grasp on reality rather tricky. It’s not so much that you don’t have a clear perception of your reality; it’s that you don’t take enough time to explore the reality you’ve created. Removing yourself from the world allows you to reacquaint yourself with the way you see the world

3. You Will Learn Things About Yourself That You Couldn’t Otherwise

By understanding the way you perceive the world, you gain insight into you as an individual. You will have more time to consciously roam around in your mind, to notice the way you think, notice the way your thoughts interact with the physical world, and notice how you judge both the outside world and yourself.

We think all the time, but it’s not often that we look at our thoughts from the outside looking in. We are more often than not caught up in thought, failing to differentiate our formulated thoughts from ourselves, the thinkers. Spend more time alone to develop the ability to differentiate yourself from all those thoughts flying about in your head. You two aren’t one in the same.

4. Relieves Anxiety

Because we don’t differentiate between ourselves and our thoughts, anxiety quickly builds. If we are overwhelmed by all the thoughts we’re having, not being able to slow them down because we feel they are a part of us, we begin to feel heavy and sluggish. If the thoughts are negative, they end up affecting us profoundly. Spending more time on your own will allow you the opportunity to set your mind straight and rid yourself of unnecessary negative thoughts, alleviating your anxiety.


treat urself

To truly love someone, we first have to explore what love is, and that means starting with the person you spend the most time with yourself!

5. Forces You To Become Less Dependent On Others

Most people don’t like being alone because they feel the need to be social, to interact with others. This is a part of human nature. However, the amount of social interaction we require to remain sane is nowhere near the amount most of us experience on a daily basis. Moreover, the amount necessary is much less than the amount we feel we need.

The fact is, most of us are dependent on others for our happiness. We use them as distractions. The question is…… distraction from what? From ourselves? Yea! But why do you feel the need to keep you away from you? #Food4Thought

6. Your Life Becomes More Efficient

We spend a lot of time in our lives, messing around. We do things for the sake of doing them. We “hang out.” We “chill.” We find ways of filling up our days in order not to have time to do nothing – because doing nothing is bad. But the fact is, you can’t do nothing; it’s physically impossible. You are a living thing and are always doing something.

More than that, you are a human being. Our minds aren’t capable of doing absolutely nothing. Try doing nothing and you’ll notice that you’re still doing something. Becoming comfortable with being alone removes a lot of excess waste from your life because you come to realize it as being useless.

7. Slow Down

Life isn’t a race. If it were, then you should be trying to avoid the finish line, not get there sooner. Taking the time to slow down and enjoy the little things ……. the air around you, the chair you are sitting in, the way your tongue feels pressed against your teeth ………. all these things will bring you greater joy than you ever thought possible. Being alive should be enough to make you happy. If it doesn’t, you need to slow down and remove yourself from distractions.

8. Remove Yourself From Unnecessary Information

Just 10 years ago, we weren’t exposed to nearly as much information as we are now. Looking back 50 years, the difference is colossal. Human beings are not yet used to being fed so much information; processing all this information can become difficult – mostly because the majority of it is useless to us. Humans developed their cognitive abilities as a means of surviving.

But knowing that Sarah is eating a cheeseburger via Instagram or that Justin Bieber may get deported via Twitter does not relate to our personal happiness. It’s all information that doesn’t make the least bit difference to our personal lives, to our well-being. Unplugging from this constant stream of information will be and is incredibly relieving.

9. You’ll Come To Accept That You’re Enough To Make Yourself Happy

The only way to achieve sustainable happiness is to be happy with the bare minimum. Why? Maintaining anything requires consistence and the only thing you can never lose and never have to worry about losing is you. You will always have you. You can lose everything else, but you can’t lose you. Learn to be happy with just yourself and everything else positive that comes your way will only be a very pleasant surprise…… personally I think the worst thing for anyone to lose would be their #Mind.

10. You’ll Save Money
It turns out that being alone is a lot cheaper than spending time with others. Alone, you can literally just sit or close your eyes and do close to nothing, just thinking and imagining. Now imagine trying to convince your friends to come over and do the same. Not going to happen. You’re going to have to spend money one way or another. Socializing always comes at a price, while being alone only costs you on occasion…. see? Spending time with yourself is also cost effective. Lol!!!

Say yes to u11. Allows You To Set Your Priorities Straight

Society convinces us that we want a lot of things we really don’t want. It’s the competitive nature of man that has us reaching for the stars when, in reality, the ground under our feet is more than enough. There’s nothing wrong with aiming high….. Of course I do that too….. but make sure that what you’re aiming for is something you actually want, not something you want because others want it as well…… Or what the media has brain washed you into wanting.

If you don’t really want something, but are aiming for it, anyway, you are only setting yourself up for disappointment. If you don’t get it, you’ll be disappointed with not getting it, and if you do get it, you’ll be disappointed that it wasn’t what you thought it’d be. Get your priorities straight and you’ll have less disappointment in your life.

12. Allows You To Stay More Focused

We aren’t meant to just be focusing on tasks. We are also meant to focus on ourselves. Very few living creatures are capable of understanding themselves as individuals — one of the most simply act without understanding that they exist. For whatever reason, our culture emphasizes constant action and little reflection. Spend some time focusing on yourself and your thoughts and less on actions. There’s no point of constantly going after achievements if you lose sight of who you are as a living being.

13. Makes You Accept That You’re Alone In This Life – And Makes You Okay With It

That sounded like a sad thought right? But, we are born alone and we die alone. What few come to realize is that the majority of our lives we actually spend alone. We spend a lot of our lives trying not to be alone, true, but in reality, we are alone the entire time. That’s okay. In fact, it’s wonderful. You are you and just you. You are unique. You are one of a kind. You don’t need anyone else to make you better because you are amazing just the way you are. You’re simply choosing to ignore that fact.

Spend more time with yourself and only yourself, and soon you will realize that as truth.

The most important relationship we can all have is the one you have with yourself, the most important journey you can take is one of self-discovery. To know yourself, you must spend time with yourself, you must not be afraid to be alone. Knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom.


froggie” Talk to yourself like you would to someone you love.”

Brene Brown



BETRAYAL   1 comment


betrayal 5


“When you betray someone else, you also betray yourself!!!”

The word itself – betrayal would look dark to most people because of its meaning. No one likes to be betrayed. In fact every security measure we see in the world today is to guard against betrayal. That is betrayal by neighbors, the government, by parents, by colleagues, by friends and one of the most popularly talked about – betrayal by a lover or spouse. One way or the other everyone has experienced this phenomenon, in fact some of you probably might have lost a big business deal, a huge amount of money, some property or the love and respect of a someone you cherished – because you got betrayed by someone.

betrayal 3“To stay angry is to be a victim……you need to move on …….because that’s the real victory!!!”

Anyway, if I were to ask now “…Is betrayal a good thing or a bad thing?” – I wonder what your response would be? Well if I had to guess I think almost everyone would say “… Of course, betrayal is a bad thing.” – Well! You wouldn’t be wrong if you said that. But, this word we’ve tagged bad can also be GOOD! “…Okay!!!! Hold it!” – Before you crucify me let me explain.


So, how can betrayal be a good thing? You ask…. This is how I see it. If at a certain point in time you were not betrayal you probably wouldn’t have been able to push past your comfort zone to get to the higher heights that you need to get to. To a lot of people betrayal was a much needed push factor. Please don’t reject this school of thought until you’ve given yourself time to ponder seriously on it. Now, think back on what made you take that first courageous move…. It might have been you starting your business alone when initially you didn’t think yourself up to the task, or you working so hard on developing yourself. Think real hard on what the starting point to building your self confidence was. Is it possible that you would realize that after going through that experience of hurt and betrayal you got yourself up and made that bold move into the next phases in your life? Don’t rush take your time.

betrayal 1

Human beings are generally creatures of comfort and it would take a lot to push us out of our comfort zone. We all seek earnestly to move up to the next level in life but most of us are not ready to give up that comfort zone for anything just yet. Well, getting out of your comfort zone is a requirement in the journey to the next level and for that to happen most times an external force is required to push us. Just like Sir Isaac Newton’s first law of motion states every object will remain at rest unless compelled to change its state by the action of an external force. In this case, betrayal is that external force. But, please I would like to state that not everyone will have to experience betrayal as a push factor; but for those who do I’d liKe you to see it (Betrayal) as a step to the next new level in your life.

betrayal 4STAY STRONG!!!!



power of words 4


The mouth is a dangerous weapon, which can work for or against you, depending on how it is used. Your mouth is not meant for eating alone it is also an instrument for charting the course of your life.

Words truly do have power. Have you ever noticed the response or reaction you receive when you say certain things? That’s because the words we use affect the outcome of the situation. They enrich us or they can cut us to the bone as if we were cut with a knife.

Even though we communicate in many different ways, through a look or a touch, a smile, or even the way we stand, our words are even more important. They not only express our views on the subject we’re presenting, they also represent who we are as an individual.


Speaking comes to most people as naturally as breathing. On many occasions our words are uttered without conscious thought; in fact we rarely stop and think about what we are saying. Thousands of words pour out of our mouths each day as our thoughts, opinions, judgements and beliefs are freely expressed. Often, however, we are oblivious to the positive or negative effect these words have on ourselves and the people around us.

Words have tremendous power. Words give out energy and a message which creates a reaction in others. Everything you say produces an effect in the world. Whatever you say to someone else will produce some kind of an effect in that person. We are constantly creating something, either positive or negative with our words.


power of words 1“In the hands of a careful person words can work to do great good. But in d hands of a careless person,words can cause great harm.”


You should also note that, the reactions we get to our words often returns to us often in a multiplied form. If we’re angry our words can be forceful, rude, demeaning and hurtful. If we are happy our words can be joyful, happy, loving, and peaceful.That person’s response to the words we speak will be stronger because it will have the emotion created by the words attached to it. The power of words has a ripple effect in our life and those around us.


Recently I came across the work of Dr Emoto, and his studies on water crystals. He took samples of water, froze them and took photographs of the water crystals. He then wrote words on vials of water taken from the same source. The crystals formed in the vials which had positive words, such as love and gratitude, were beautiful. However the crystals in the vials with negative words such as hate and evil were very different and the water didn’t even form crystals in some instances. Experiments were done using words from different languages, and also by the scientists having no knowledge of what the words meant. The results were similar (see pictures below). The finding of this study on water crystals has had a profound impact on me. The human body is known to be composed of up to ninety percent water. If words had such a significant impact on water crystals, then what is the impact of positive and negative words to our bodies?

power of words 5 (Dr Emoto)“The sound of your voice and the things you say are more important than you know.”


When we speak we use words to describe things, our mind creates the picture. When we hear the words of a song we do the same thing. Those words can either build us up or tear us down. They help create positive self esteem or break down our self esteem. Words encourage us to be our best or they rip away our self worth and trust in our abilities to reach goals and life’s ambitions.

An important key to success in life is to understand the power of words. A word is a thought eternalized. Our thoughts do have a great effect on us even though they are internal. What we think effects the way we live our life, it effects our emotions, our attitudes and our behaviour. A thought spoken, however, has even more power. It can never be taken back; it is out of our mouth and will have an effect. Our words have even more power than our thoughts because they not only affect ourselves, but the people and the world around us.

Time To Change Your World

“You think being vulgar wit your words is cool, when in reality everyone loves a person who has encouraging or uplifting things to say.”


Successful people take control of their words, rather than letting their words control them. They are more conscious of their thoughts and words and the power they unleash. Successful people understand that they need to speak positively rather than negatively in order to see success. Successful people are characterized by the words that they speak. They know the importance of speaking words that will build self-esteem and confidence, build relationships and build possibilities. They speak words of affirmation, encouragement, love, acceptance and appreciation.

To see more personal success, the words that we speak need to be in alignment with what we want to see being produced in our life – our vision and our dreams. Your words can determine your destiny. Even more importantly, your words can make a positive difference on the people you interact with every day. Before you speak ask yourself: Is what I am about to say going to uplift the hearer? Will it inspire, motivate, and create forward momentum for them? Will it dissolve fear and create safety and trust? Will I create a positive or negative ripple effect by speaking out these words? Let‘s be determined to unleash the power of words for positive change.

It has been said that our eyes are windows to our soul and I believe that our words are also an indication of whom and what we are inside.

Words either give us hope or they bring despair. They are key to how we learn. From birth we are taught to communicate not only through touch, sight, and sound but through words.

Almost every emotion we feel as a human being is affected or created by the words we hear or say. Proverbs 13 verse 3 says that whoever guards his mouth preserves his life and he who opens his lips wide comes to ruin. So even in silence our words are powerful.

The very words we utter every day create the world we live in. They have THE to power to crush countries and the power to build nations anew.

Just for one day think about the words you use, think about the effect they have on you and the people around you. Use positive words instead of negative and see if the results you receive are different. I can bet you will be amazed.

power of words 2“By your choice of words you can influence others in positive ways and as a result achieve peace and prosperity in your life.”

SELF REINVENTION   Leave a comment

 20130423-022222.jpgSelf Reinvention

Reinvention!!! I love the idea behind the word. It’s like the perfect ticket into an imaginary world. You can make what ever situation as glamorous and elegant as ever, and then stop and start all over again at will. But what I love most is the possibility for one to reinvent themselves. That is to give yourself a little boost or a new zest to life. Now, you know to reinvent yourself you have to be daring and willing to go ahead and do things you normally wouldn’t do, because, if you stay within your comfort zone, true reinvention will not be fully experienced.


create life” The 3 C’s of life: Choices, Chances, Changes. You must make a choice to take a chance or your life will never change.”

Anyway, I see that a lot of us girls like to go for some retail therapy as if getting a new wardrobe was all the boost we needed right?… Well, I’ll admit retail therapy is not bad, in fact I’ve had to do that a couple of times myself …lol! But, you see it’s a momentary relief and not to mention the fact that it’s an expensive habit. Have I got you screaming “Go straight to the point girl!!!” “lol! Okay I will.” For me I see self reinvention as a thing of the mind first, before moving on to attitude. Have you ever heard the saying “pick up a monkey from the jungle clean and dress it up, and then place it in the city… It’s still going to act like the monkey in the jungle.” sadly, that’s what a lot of us are doing. Hoping for a new lease in life and thinking we can get it through the thing we find on some shelf in a shop? Or some people we’ve tagged the “IT CROWD!” it’s important that you realize that you don’t need to find your identity in what you wear or who you follow. Your true identity comes from within, and you have to make sure that you keep developing yourself. Self reinvention is the starting point for that journey towards self development.

self reinvention” Making a big life change is pretty scary. But, you want to know what is more scarier? Regret!!!”

Now, let’s break it down what is self reinvention? Well, am certainly not talk about you hauling up yourself to some surgeon to change your body parts. What I am talking about here is you starting off on a clean slate, like you’ve just been re-born. Basically, it’s to remake or re-do your perspective or approach towards life completely. Note however, that it doesn’t really matter what prompted you to move towards re-inventing yourself. What’s really important is the “choice” to reinvent yourself!!! You need to realize that self reinvention is first a decision then an act before it becomes a story you tell others. It might take the conscious effort of acquiring an extra-curricular skill that you think would come in handy, but often it is done unconsciously. I remember, back in the days before I got on radio, I always imagined myself there, even before I started working. As a child, I started my own radio show had a make believe radio station we (a friend, my sister and I) called ALF fm. Back then for me it was just another extra curricular activity something else to do outside school work. It was my way of getting a new lease in life outside my regular schedule. And one day, I took that very scary decision to leave my white collar “regular” 9am – 5pm job even with the promise of an increase, and I moved on to radio. It was very scary, I wasn’t sure I was doing the right thing, and worst I did not have a lot of supporters. But, it was something deep down inside me I knew I wanted to do. I’ve been on radio now for a couple of years and I have not regretted that decision to move on one bit.

Realize this, reinventing oneself is not exactly a walk in the park although, for some it might be. But, there is always going to be doubt and fear…. This is where I will now talk about those excuses we often come up with that stop us from reinventing ourselves.


self reinvention 1


 So here are five common stories that may trip you up on the way to self-reinvention, and some suggestions to begin to deal with them: –

The Responsibility Story: “I’m responsible for so many things/people/situations that I don’t have time to reinvent myself.” Flip this story by recognizing that true responsibility starts with you, and works outward. If ever there was a time to embrace this, it’s now. I will say, give some of that responsibility back to others, and for once put yourself first. –

The Scarcity Story: “Nothing ever works out so why bother trying?” you need to flip this story by connecting with others who are committed to reinvention. You will be pulled along by their enthusiasm, and begin to cultivate your own. –

The Perfection Story: “If I can’t be the best I won’t even consider it.” again flip this story by recognizing that human beings have to make mistakes before they get really good at something. Making mistakes makes you better at what you do, because you learn and grow from them. –

The Magic Story: “If it doesn’t come easily/fast then it’s not meant to be.” Flip this story by recognizing that magic happens when you take an active role in creating it yourself. And if you fully embrace the process of reinvention, rather than waiting for magic, you may be surprised by how fast things actually do start to fall into place. –

The I Just Want to Have Fun Story: “It’s too hard, too much work – it will cut into my time for the rest of my life.” Again I say, flip this story by recognizing that reinvention can be fun too, and that if you are pursuing something you truly value, you are fully capable of creating joy in the doing of it. In fact, it will actually give you more energy for the rest of your life. Do what you love. Do something because you really want to. You can’t lose. Your passions can become useful in surprising ways. Each time you have to reinvent yourself, you will find that the life you have lived is every bit as important as the job you have been paid for. What lies behind successful self-reinvention is the act of giving value to everything we have done. What should you be doing with your life? You should be doing what you think is valuable.

change yoour mindset 1

Steps To Reinvent Yourself

So, at this point the question I ask is, are you serious about reinventing yourself? I’m not talking about polishing yourself, improving yourself, making things a bit better. I’m talking about hitting the reset button—a reinvention that changes the game. That means an overhaul in your approach to life. If you’re up for that, then right here, right now, you can start. How? Easy! ….just read on.

Step One: Wake Up!

Realize that you’re not a victim to the bad economy, job market or your limited job skills. You have your hands on the steering wheel (whether it feels like it or not). Your life is on purpose. You designed it to get where you are. Quit feeling sorry for yourself, blaming, arguing and being depressed. Take back your power and start dreaming up something better. Are you afraid to pursue a better life because it’s not “realistic?” Consider this: When you “face reality” you’re accepting someone else’s idea of how life works and what is possible for you. When you say, “I will only face the reality I want to see,” you gain control of your life.

change your mind set

“What messes us up most in life is the picture we have in our head of how it is supposed to be.”

Step Two: Dream

We’re told from the time we’re children to stop dreaming, to get our heads out of the clouds and face reality. Yet dreaming creates reality. Dreams make us feel happy, raise our energy levels, and tap into our brilliance – which is where solutions live. Quit facing reality (and being pitiful). Instead, start dreaming of what you want to happen. Sit quietly for ten minutes and ask yourself: What would make me happy right now? What would make me happy this week? What do I want to happen in the next six months? Where do I want my life to be one year from now? What do I want my life to look like in five years? When the answers make you giggle, you’ve got it right. You won’t find your great work by thinking in a limited, small-minded way. You must dream BIG in order to find new answers.

Step Three: Ask Questions 

The question to ask is not: What can I do? The right question is: What do I love doing? Your greatest accomplishments most times come from your innate talent which comes gracefully and easily to you. If you’re not working from those innate talents, your work will be a chore, uninspired and unsuccessful. So ask yourself – What makes you different from your best friend? Your spouse? Your sister? What do you love doing when you have a day to yourself? What do your friends tell you you’re good at? What do you value in a career? What has been your favorite thing to do and why? What are you passionate about? Ask these questions until you get an answer.

Step Four: Move past the Pain, Doubt and Fear

What is your greatest pain? Have you lost someone you love? Have you suffered injustices or been ignored? Sometimes our deepest hurt is a powerful clue for finding our calling in life. Realizing this, not just helps to heal us but also heal the world as well. Our work /calling heals us by letting us offer to the world exactly what we need to heal ourselves. With this discovery we become relevant/valuable thus the healing begins for you and many others, remember what makes self-reinvention successful is the act of giving value. Plus by facing our pain, we turn it into energy. It moves us forward. Ask yourself what pain needs healing now? Let that answer guide you to do what you love. “Choose courage instead of letting your fear choose your future for you.” Step

Five: Visualize

Consider the possibility that if you spent even a couple minutes each day seeing positive outcomes for the things you worry about, life would go in a better direction. It’s worth a little experimenting? When we imagine what we want to happen, we tap into creative energy – the boundless realm of ever-changing possibilities. Our powerful thoughts attract circumstances and people in alignment with what we’re focusing on. This is not just talking its something I have experienced first hand per and over again. I always say “thought becomes things… Choose the good ones!”

Step Six: Spring Into Action!

After doing the steps described above, it’s essential that you take action. Go out into the world and research whatever new ideas you’ve come up with; Meet people, network, make phone calls, and take tangible steps in a new direction. Connect -for example, Look at the social media as a crack in the wall between you and the rest of the world. It’s a choice that’s up to you. And, once you begin moving forward in any direction – even if it’s the wrong direction – you’ll be pulled into the flow of forward-moving energy, and you’ll be guided to the right people and opportunities eventually. Forward motion takes on a life of its own. Personally I think any movement is better than no movement.

Step Seven: Accept Change!

Always look at change as the solution – not the problem. As difficult as that might sound its the way forward. Change is inevitable, even our bodies are constantly changing; our cells replicating and dying. Our minds and spirits change as we have new experiences.

When we’re changing, we’re in the flow of life. If we’re not changing and moving forward, we’re stagnant and cut off. We must learn to embrace change, because like it or not it always takes us to a better place.

Your approach to life should not be a solid, unchanging object. It changes form as you interact with the world and have new thoughts and beliefs.

What works for you today will change tomorrow. That’s a good thing! Ride the wave of change and life will unfold gracefully.

Learn to use your thoughts, beliefs, and feelings to make your life better, and to pursue your dreams passionately. Take a grand step towards a happier life. Just take it one step at a time.

In conclusion, I will say congratulation! You already took a first step. You read something that challenged you to think differently. The path to reinvention, though, is just that—a path. The opportunity of our time is to discard what you think you know and instead learn what you need to learn. Every single day…. Like the author Seth Godin says now–right now–is the best time to transform your life. Have a great time reinventing yourself. I am working on reinventing myself… Are you? So, do you have a story about self-reinvention? If so, I’d love to hear it!

20130423-012442.jpg” When you “face reality” you’re accepting someone else’s idea of how life works and what is possible for you.”

F.E.A.R   4 comments


“Fear is only as deep as the mind allows”

Fear a crippling phenomenon, so many of us live in fear, but it comes in different shapes, sizes and degree. From the fear of heights, fear of being alone, to the fear of being a disappointment. Personally I think the greatest fear of all is the fear of the unknown. Like a vortex the fear of the unknown has the ability to obliterate everything around it I mean literally suck out the life out of a being but here is the twist…….this can only happen if you let it.

“….But how is that possible you say?” well!!! I’ll tell you simply in one word or maybe two…. “YOUR -MIND”

The Mind is the most powerful tool on earth yet we take it for granted, filling it up with junk…..okay! Okay!! So we don’t digress let’s talk about the mind another day, for now let’s focus on how the mind can squash fear…..You have a choice in every situation a choice to win or lose, a choice to get hurt and let it weigh you down or pick yourself up, a choice to shy away from life or face it head on; at the end of the day we are all product of our choices.

Whether, we live in fear or not is our choice. A friend once proceeded to ask out a girl he was truly crazy about and he said what’s the worst that could happen? There are only two answers she would give either yes!!! Or No!!! Now, obviously the positive answer is preferred which of course would give this friend of mine joy but he prepared his mind for even the negative answer saying “If I do get a No….at least I tried.” A popular saying goes better to have tried and lost than never to have tried at all”…ermmm!!!  I think that’s the way it goes…Lol!!!!

So many of us are scared of failure, rejection, and disappointment unfortunately instead of facing these things we rather seat on our hands and wonder about these negative feelings……. “Am scared he won’t love me…. Am not good enough or qualified enough for the job…” we get so wrapped up in our worries we end up not trying anything at all. So many people have allowed fear steal a big junk of their lives leaving them wondering a few years down the line “what would my life have been like if only I tried…?

The funny thing about fear is once you allow it in a couple of times it becomes a permanent house guest and gets bolder with time, before you know It’s a trait, next thing you know it’s in your makeup. I’ve got a newsflash for you….you decide who and what you are…Q.E.D

“You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You must do the thing which you think you cannot do.”
Eleanor Roosevelt

          There are only two responses to fear which are flee or fight….again choices; you either allow fear to subdue you or; you subdue it. Most a times fear relates to future occurrences, because we feel we cannot control what happens next.

There, is that fear, which I like to call the fear of the unknown. It’s like looking into a pitch black hall way knowing that anything can pop your way soon but you still have to make a decision to make… to stay where you are; Or to proceed. So many people have decided to stay put instead of proceeding allowing fear to rule their lives, and because of that today we have a lot people who are not where or who they ought to be….and really that just very sad!!!!

You might ask “…Hey soul sista don’t you get scared?” of course I do I get very scared heck!!! Am human aren’t I? But here is the deal getting scared to the point where you allow fear become a controlling factor in your life? Is a big No! No!! Not at all!!! Personally I kick against anything that seeks control over my life except God! Who you should willingly give control over your life…Nothing else should be allowed to control your life.

Now, according to research analyzed by Bill Tanner frequent online queries that involved fear were…. Flying, heights, intimacy, death, war, terrorist attacks, social rejection, failure, people, enclosed spaces, snakes, evil power, Public speaking ,crawling insects (cockroaches, spiders e.t.c) and so many more. Now, whatever it is that you are afraid of be like my friend whom I mentioned earlier in this write up and prepare yourself for every possible outcome; most of the time the worst outcomes rarely occurs.


1. Acknowledge it.

2. Write down what you are afraid of (or anxious about).

3. Tell someone (a friend, teammate, your boss, your FB friends).

4. Item by item, come up with a game plan for what you (and your company) can do to address the root causes of what it is that is sparking fear in you.

5. Acknowledge your successes each time your fear subsides and is supplanted by relaxation, ease, insight, breakthrough, and success.

Here’s something you must always remember when next fear tries to creep in; know this: FEAR is like hallucination, it’s not real.

You want to know the real definition of fear? Well here it is





The only time fear is good is when it causes a positive action/response. It’s important that you never allow FEAR control your life, or you miss out on a lot. Take that bold step today and confront your F.E.A.R

“The greatest mistake you can make in life is to continually be afraid you will make one.”
Elbert Hubbard

“Courage is not living without fear. 
Courage is being scared to death and doing the right thing anyway.”
– Chae Richardson –

Posted March 6, 2012 by Faith Onyebujoh in Uncategorized

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